Inception

So why do Cobb & team think "inception" is such an impossibly difficult thing to do anyway? Isn't that how advertising, peer pressure and housing bubbles work? Because someone 'incepts' an idea in our minds which we believe is our own? Hacking into dreams probably is the most expensive although the coolest option, yes!

A great thriller of a movie, by the way!

Baby no more

K is officially a toddler now. His crib has been converted to a bed; his cloth-shoes have been replaced by Crocs; he's off his Avent bottles and on to straw & sippy-cups; his gibberish is slowly turning into real words. The pace and enormousness of these changes are exciting and also slightly depressing. I'm proud of my muchkin's little milestones; but can't let go of the babyhood which I already so miss.

The kind of stuff that make Sundays special

Butter-chicken and roti for lunch.

A walk with K; him on his 'elephant car'.

A late night movie with friends.

Pictures of friends on Facebook & a 'like' button under them.

Unexpectedly finding black trousers that fit well, at the mall.

Threading of some bushy eyebrows.

A sleeping baby. In his own crib.

The universe is finally paying me back for all the heartache & headache it has caused me over the past 2 weeks (involved a taxi-strike & non-stop rain in Mumbai, a nasty viral infection & K, a nanny on leave, a tough work week in Singapore, a botched up flight booking, and more).

Starry Nights

I love star gazing. This weekend, we spent some quality geek-time looking at the sky through the telescope. I could go on about the different sights we enjoyed & admired; but then it would be like narrating an incident which is interesting only if you see it first-hand; not when you hear of it. I am however, going to blog about why I thought the experience was so special.

People love to go on top of tall buildings & insert coins into binoculours to see the tinyness of humanity & its creations below. Looking at the universe is exactly the opposite perspective & therefore special.

The expanse of the universe is a tremendous sight. You feel a sense of being inconsequential in size; and simultaneously feel like an essential & invaluable part in the scheme of things; like there must be an important purpose behind your existence in this mega-project called the universe. It prods you to question your beliefs & re-enforces them the next moment. And it makes you feel incredibly closer to those close to you.

Little joys in life

Your chubby hands, wobbly walk, loud chuckles, short pajamas, mouth smeared with strawberry yogurt, incorrigible words, pretend phone-conversations, drooly kisses, sparkly smiles.

I could keep watching you forever & not get bored!

What's going on lately

* I've been pondering lately whether I really know what the term "true calling" means. And if I do, is this it?

* I learnt that Atlas Shrugged is going to be a movie. And so is Life of Pi. Don't like the sound of that!

* The dilemma of a working mother has been nagging me quite persistently. Always treading that fine line between a 'good mother' and 'guilty mother' can be tiring. Seeing a completely guilt-free father doesn't help either.

* What's the saddest thing you've read recently? For me, it was this.

* Kabeer has 4 teeth now. And he's not afraid to use them. He has also decided that "papaya" is his favorite word.

* There are too many articles written about China, I agree. But thought this one was interesting. "Of the 22 Chinese corporations listed on the Fortune Global 500, none are privately held"....did not know that! By the way, I had an interesting conversation with two colleagues from work - one who grew up in Mao's China; another who grew up in pre-unification East Germany; and there was me who grew up in pre-liberalisation socialist India. It was weird how similar & dissimilar our experiences were!

Harischandrachi Factory

This turned out to be a lovely movie. Phalke stumbled into a movie-tent and watched a silent English movie about 100 years ago and decided to make India's first motion picture. And the journey that followed was an inspiring, sensitive, humorous and passionate pursuit of one eccentric but visionary man's single-minded resolve.

What I liked about the movie:

1> It's made in Marathi. I wonder whether there was the temptation to go the more financially lucrative way of Hindi-cinema; but it wouldn't have been the same movie if it had.

2> For a story about success-against-all-odds, the movie is remarkably devoid of melodrama. And it doesn't lose its sense of humour.

3> Loved watching Mumbai in 1911. Although a lot of it is seen through pictures, people and dialogues (Dadar was a suburb on the outskirts back then!:)); but the movie hasn't done a bad job of portraying Mumbai through its sets [considering it would've had the budget of an indie Marathi movie].

4> The director has a gift of story-telling through his characters. Loved every single character in the movie - the eccentric protagonist; his immensely supportive wife; his mature little children; the nosy neighbouring kaku in Girgaum; the chai-walla turned movie-heroine Taramati; they all have their moments.

Melaka

We went to Melaka over the weekend. Our hotel was located right in the middle the UNESCO World Hertiage Site; the really old town, its shophouses, the remnants of the Dutch fortress and churches,and the rest; and we enjoyed walking around the town.
You know, sometime you visit a place & find it too touristy or too commercialised .... that happened to us in Melaka. But somehow the touristy culture has added to the atmosphere in Melaka. There's this whole "bag-packer in Asia" vibe to the old city - the kind of cafes & flea markets on Jonker Street; the sort of people you meet; I can't put my finger on it but I thought it was young & adventurous; and a far-cry from the sleepy old town I expected it to be! The Cafe Geographer on Jonker Street felt like Cafe Leopold in Mumbai.

Btw, Kabeer is totally enamoured by the trishaws in Melaka!!

Mumbai again

It seems like ever since I decided to lose weight the universe has been conspiring against me. I was in Mumbai on work last week and this was my lunch menu through out the trip:

Wednesday - Kombdi-wada from Gomantak
Thursday - Garlic Pepper Prawns from Mahesh Lunch Home
Friday - Keema Pav from Cafe Excelsior
Saturday - Crab Masala from Gajalee
Sunday - Brunch at Just Around the Corner

Dear Food-in-Mumbai, I love you very much; but now I'm stuffed!

PS: Had a lovely time with family over the weekend & watching Kabeer bond with his cousin was priceless!! :)

I would've lost weight, but...

Dessert buffet = Bad idea !!

Me, Kash & Cruise

A play from & about Bombay came to Singapore; so obviously we had to go watch it. Directed by Rahul Dacunha, "Me, Kash & Cruise" is a story of 3 friends who meet at St. Xaviers college - one is a brooding arty-type guy, there's a pretty, perky & rich South-Mumbai girl, and there's a simple-minded Delhi-walla who's recently moved to Mumbai; and the 20-odd years they spend together in Mumbai.

And then there's Rajit Kapur who appears in the play as different but all typically Mumbai characters - as a police hawaldar turned moral police; as an ardent Ganpati procession dancer; as a marketing guy with an American accent and incorrect grammar; as a roadside hawker selling sex solutions; as a angry sword-bearing man during the riots; all are small but impactful & entertaining appearances on stage.

This Mumbai girl who is narrating the story - equally enjoys the company of intellectual and brooding Kash as she does the classless but fun Cruise with his simple fundas in life. The background score as well ranges from the "Beedi" Song to "Take my breath away". It's all very Mumbai. Loved going back to that city for 2 hours in that small theatre hall in Singapore! :)

Some of the lines were hilarious too ( "Kash, you wore an ear-ring, never played cricket and then did a B.A.; obviously my dad assumed you were gay!")

The Hurt Locker

I've been out of touch with Hollywood lately, but following all the awards, we finally watched "The Hurt Locker" last week. I thought it was a movie with a few weaknesses and a few strengths, but on the whole, it moved me.

The movie is about heroism in war, and about the adrenalin-rush of being in an intense war situation. I won't say I relate to a soldier who craves the adrenalin of being in a bomb squad in Iraq; but I thought him to be believable. And the movie put me in this soldier's shoes and read his diary of time spent in Iraq where nobody can be trusted and no place is safe. Of course, it was not a regular war movie - it was horrifying (without being gory), it was edge-of-the-seat stuff and it was a new "American-soldier's-unapologetic-point-of-view" on the war in Iraq.

But having said that, a war movie is a war movie is a war movie. Wars are always ugly; and they're uglier when fought in the middle of civilians; by soldiers from a culture & place so alien to the people they'r meant to be defending. In a way, a war movie set in Iraq might have well been set in Vietnam 50 years ago and it would've been almost the same; only the communists are now called terrorists and landmines are now suicide-bombers.

Mission Birthday Party!

1. Invitations
2. Food & drinks
3. Return gifts
4. Helium Balloons
5. Party hats

11 month old with a personality!

Watching a baby grow up is a fascinating thing; not just as a parent, but also as an observer. A baby is born with nothing more than basic instincts - a survival instinct; an instinct to suck for food; and perhaps a faint instinct that tells him who his mother is.

And now at 11 months he already has a 'personality'. He has a mind; he has thoughts; he has preferences, he knows cause-n-effect, he has intellectual curisoity, he has a massive ego for such a tiny thing, he knows anger and fear (anger was perhaps a more easily acquired trait than fear), he has a vocabulary, and best of all, he understands love and reciprocates it.

Its like witnessing the whole breadth of human evolution in a short timespan; and it's nothing short of witnessing a miracle.

Our precious acquisition from Bali....

is finally framed and hanging on the wall in our living room!

Holiday in Bali

I admit, Bali is not the same when you go there with an infant. We weren't those carefree bag-packers on rented 2-wheelers; we were the resort-by-Kuta-beach holidayers! It's not something we used to do in our pre-parenthood life, but something we don't have too much trouble getting used to! :) Some picture memories...

A Haiku from Mumbai

A big white wall
"Keep Mumbai clean".
Thoo, a red splutter.

Bose - Special screening in Singapore

Sounds like an interesting film & I want to watch. But more importantly, I would love to hear Shyam Benegal talk about it. (PS: Have I mentioned on my blog that I met Shyam Benegal once long ago - when I was in B-school & he was making Zubeida - and I remember thinking that I didn't want him to stop talking!)

Lost - The final season

H & I have been exchanging our theories about Lost & are waiting for the final season.

We both agree that the guys are stuck in a time-loop (In the last episode of the last season, the man-who-is-Locke says to Jacob “They come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt, it always ends the same”…Jacob replies…"It only happens once, anything before that is just progress”). Apart from that, we don't really have any theory that works. It better be something good!

A tooth is sprouting!

I'm going to miss the toothlessness :-(

Working from Mumbai

I've been working from our Mumbai office all this week on a short work stint. It's been kind of strange. I'm working in Mumbai after 6-7 years; and although I love it here, I have to admit sometimes its just not the same Mumbai for me anymore (I'm just nostalgic, not anti-progress).

What else? Was my first time on the sea-link this Monday. It's no doubt an iconic structure & the Mumbai skyline looks deceptively pretty from it (especially with the morning sun & haze). But in terms of delivering what it was supposed to do, I guess its a case of too little, too late - the traffic at both ends of the sea-link is terrible! Takes me around 2 hours to get home every evening. Used to be 1.5 hours 6 years ago. Without the sea link.

But love the perks of working in South Bombay - Have had most of my meals at "Ideal Corner" enjoying some great Parsi food; have cutting-chai every afternoon & a deep-fried snack which is otherwise avoidable has become a must :)

Movies I watched

Avatar: I was disappointed with the movie. Visually, it was undoubtedly beautiful, imaginative & the mega-scale of it was breathtaking. I was a bit envious of the animation team; I wish I had a job like that - to let your imagination lose & to dream up a new & beautiful world. Also, 3D was fun*. The movie on the whole, however, was not so great for me.

3 Idiots: Had a good number of hilarious moments; I was laughing aloud in the movie hall. But the rona-dhona/ giving-the-social-message scenes spoiled the movie for me; I wish the movie had just stuck to being funny. The vaccum cleaner delivery scene made me cringe & the newborn responding to "Aal is well" made it worse (the experience of suction-delivery was perhaps all too close to me); and it irked me how everyone on the college campus seemed ready for suicide at the drop of the hat. Btw, I distinctly remember this joke from when I was 7 or 8 -"The Pakistani astronaut spent billions of rupees to invent a pen that would work in space & then the Indian used a pencil".

Sherlock Holmes: Haven't seen the movie yet; but I'm dying to. My friend M thinks the movie is not meant for us (as in those who grew up reading Sherlock Holmes); its like finding out Santa doesn't exist. But the thought of Robert Downey Jr & Guy Ritchie together makes me want to watch anyway!

* H thinks Chota Chetan had more fun 3D effects than Avatar, can you believe it?

Back from India...

It was the kind of break that deserves another break to recover from the break. A wedding, a jetlagged 9-month old & a whole lot of family & friends!

Browsing on a slow day at work...

And found that Nat Geo's Photo-of-the-day pics are very cool :)

31

Last year, I was in Dubai when I celebrated my 30th birthday. It was a turning point of sorts - I had a baby on his way; I had just noticed the first few strands of grey in my hair & I was entering a new decade in my life. It was a bit unnerving.

The 31st, in contrast, is completely -- um, what's the right word for it? -- "un-unnerving". I'm loving the 30s!!! I really am. I can't imagine why I was so apprehensive about it - I feel more confident today than I did back in my early or mid 20s; I feel more secure in my relationships; I have a career that rocks; I have goals that give me freedom from the aimlessness of my 20s; I use my credit cards more freely; I feel more in-control; the experience of motherhood has been life-altering. Perhaps I miss my old waistline on occassions; but that's about it.

Maybe it's life falling into place that makes me feel like this. The past year has been a little Benjamin-Button-like.

Selatar Flying Club

This Sunday afternoon we went to the Seletar Flying Club on the outskirts of the city. It's quite a unique spot - sipping beer (or cola if you're a nursing mum), overlooking an aircraft hangar & a beautiful sunset. Nice evening.

Saint Jack

Our friend A told us about this movie screening. Saint Jack was made in 1979 & banned in Singapore for almost 30 years. The ban was finally lifted & the movie was brought here by the National Museum for 2 screenings over the weekend. It sounded compelling & we promptly asked A to buy tickets for us.

The movie is about an American man Jack Flowers, a pimp (unabashedly so) making his living in Singapore in the early 1970s. The story starts off with an easy-going Jack making a small living out of introducing Chinese girls to white tourists & expats; and goes on to tell us how Jack starts a US army-sponsored hotel where US soliders in Vietnam could find recreation while on leave; and Jack's growing sense of disillusionment with this little empire which fails to live upto all the expectations he had from it.

The plot is set in Singapore 30 years ago, its alleys & lanes, its small businesses & seedy hotels, its Chinese & Tamil faces, its gangsters & street-side hookers, its impetuous white expat drifters, its bars, the tiny version of Changi Airport, the Raffles Hotel & Fullerton post office from 30 years ago. The city has changed beyond recognition in the past 3 decades & I could barely relate to that Singapore from how I know it today. I am undecided about what I think of that old Singapore; perhaps it had a stronger character than the glitzy/ artificial Singapore of today; but then again, movies always make eveything look more romantic than it really is.

The movie itself was pretty interesting; mainly due to some very witty lines. As the head of the National Museum said at the beginning, the movie is a white man's fantasy - probably so; but it was more than your sterotypical "Asia-seen-from-the-eyes-of-a-white-man" (or even the "look-how-America-has-screwed-up-Asia"). The style of the movie was bold & quirky; there are transvestite hookers, dwarf gangsters, disenchanted young soldier-boys, obscure bartenders. It was quite a unique movie.

The Singaporean-isation of Rudolf

We went to Orchard Road today to show Kabeer the Christmas decoration & I was pretty unhappy with what they've done to poor Rudolf the Reindeer. Firstly, he's a she; and secondly he's some sort of a fashion-diva who loves shoes & fashion accessories!

"After Dark" by Haruki Murakami

Oh. My. God. This is the awesomest book I've ever read! Everything about it - the narrative style, the plot, the characters, loved it all. What I loved the most were the details though. The details of every character in the book, of every place in the book, of every scene in the book. Wow.

Does this happen to others too?

When someone says something offensive or rude to me, I almost never can think of a smart comeback right away; and then (sometimes days later) I'll think of a witty reparte, but it would already be too late to use it. And its such a burden of missed opportunity, I can't wait for that person to say/do something mean again.

Maybe I need to get a life.

Savoury Ice-creams...

Sound like a terrible idea to me...maybe I'll try them nevertheless. This is at one of my favourite breakfast places in Singapore, by the way.

Moment of Realisation

Can't use the "I-had-a-baby" excuse forever....Must lose weight!

Pulau Ubin

This weekend we went to Pulau Ubin, a small island village on the eastern coast of Singapore, with some friends. Its a bum-boat ride away from Singapore. Once there, we had a lazy afternoon lunch & then rented bicycles & cycled across the island. It's a quiet, green, beautiful place; particularly at some points along our route, the view was spectacular. The humidity & heat aside, it was a perfect weekend.

Note to myself: Must do more of this; I used to be an outdoorsy person once upon a time.

An ode to the equity trader?

Every time I listen to this song, I find myself picturing a hotshot equity trader sitting at his desk sometime in September-08, peering with disbelief at his Bloomberg screen, with his Rolex-clad hand clutching his head & his mouth in an "O". I wonder what Coldplay was thinking about...

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

Happy Diwali

The festival of lights & sparkles was special this year - it was Kabeer's first. There were laddoos, poori-aloo, lights, taash, grand-parents, yellow flowers, sparkles, puja, friends. The best part was dressing up Kabeer in his Fab-India kurta; he looked like a little Gandhian :)
This was our third diwali in Singapore; but it was our first visit to "Little India" during Diwali. And God, was it manic or was it manic! The decoration in Little India gets put up around a week or so running up to Diwali; and its usually a bit gaudy (1960s stuff with apsaras in typical 'namaste' poses, elephants, and south-indian rangoli patterns). But by the night of Diwali eve, the place turns into an absolute vibrant festive crazy thoroughfare. I've never seen as many people, as much traffic, as much loud music* & as much indiscipline in Singapore before. It felt like Diwali back home!

*The music blaring on the loudspeakers was really random south-indian film music; but Kabeer loved dancing to it :)

Wondering...

Is there anything better in the world than a little toothless smile?

Every Second Counts

I don't usually pick up biographies, and I've never been a follower of bicycle racing (my only exposure so far had been Aamir Khan's cycle race in Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander which I watched from the edge of my seat in Gaiety-Galaxy a long time ago) but for some strange reason I picked this book by Lance Armstrong. I won't say it's a great book, but while I was reading it, I got really fascinated by the sport of cycling & by the Tour de France; I read up a lot about the race itself, about its little traditions, about the various stages (its very interesting) & have decided that I must make a visit to France & drive along the Tour track; its my latest addition to my "Must-do-before-I-die" list.

Competing in the Tour de France is an incredible feat I think - the bikers cycle around France for 3 weeks or so, through the mountains & crowds, at average speeds like 40 miles an hour & in the end the difference between winning & not is a few minutes. Its an absolutely physically abusive race & to win it 6 times is beyond incredible. I loved every detail described in the book about how the winner goes about this awesome-but-ridiculous feat. As Armstrong mentioned, there's a lot of attention to detail, even small details like how your hand moves on the handle-bar of your bike could shave off a few seconds of time; there's a lot of strategy; a lot of technique to it. Its also a team-sport; who would've guessed that?

By the end of the book, I'm totally sucked into the world of TDF & I'm so going to follow the Tour next year.

PS: After a very long time, I read a book which didn't begin with the words "what to expect..."; its refreshing :)

This is my frustration talking...

Damn you, Formula 1...!! Its been a nightmare getting to work all this week because of the blocked roads. Now I'm worried that the vroom from the engines is going to keep Kabeer awake over the weekend. Can't wait for the race to get over & be done with.

Catching up

I have not connected with my blog for a while now. Some updates from the past 2 weeks or so:

- Being back at work hasn't been as depressing as I made it sound in my last post. After the first couple of days, I actually started finding it refreshing to have other thoughts challenging my brain. Also, I find I've become a better mother with this slight distance - I've stopped worrying too much about how much he eats, how much he sleeps, how much he poops & instead of micro-managing him, I've actually learnt to spend quality time with him when I go home. Also, everyday when I return home, Kabeer gurgles & jumps on his bums with joy -- makes me feel like I'm on top of the world!

- A close friend of mine got engaged this month & another found out she's pregnant. So I've been feeling very cheerful & excited.

- We finally watched a movie in a cinema hall. Our first since Kabeer was born. We watched "Kaminey" & I found it to be pretty cleverly written & made. Even though I think stories about the grimy parts of Mumbai have already been done to death; this one had the feel of a Guy Ritchie movie -- which I liked at most points but thought a bit 'wannabe' at other points.

- Kabeer will start eating solids soon & to prepare for the occassion, we went shopping for him. I was so fascinated with the stuff thats out there in the market for babies! We bought this cute cutlery set with suction (so that the baby won't be able to hurl it into air- - isn't that really clever?) & a feeding high-chair with adjustable height, adjustable back, adjustable tray & the works (state of the art stuff which pleased H more than it pleased Kabeer), and a training cup to train him to move from the bottle to cup. Parenthood has really brought forth the consumer in me! :)

- It was Teacher's Day on Saturday & my thoughts were with a teacher who's had a lifelong impact on me & who passed away last year. He was a 'Gandalf the Wizard' in my life - a source of worldy wisdom & inspiration; and although he was meant to only teach me finance, he has taught me a lot more.

- This weekend, I successfully unpacked the last of the cartons & feel a sense of accomplishment. Not just that, my wardrobe has never looked more organised. My mum would get teary-eyed if she were to see it!

Back at work

The lovely four months of maternity leave flew by & I'm back in office on weekdays now. Its much, much tougher than I imagined it would be; the separation anxiety is excrutiating, listening to Kabeer on the phone makes my heart break into a thousand pieces, expressing milk at work is painfully tedious, & weekends have never been this precious. Working mothers often worry about how their child is going to get good parenting while they're away. That thought crossed my mind too; but my bigger worry is a selfish but agonising anxiety that maybe Kabeer will stop missing me eventually; maybe he'll forget my face which has always been his favourite, most familiar face; maybe he'll think of me as someone who just shows up on weekends. And then instantly I feel terrible for wishing that my son misses me & cries for me when I'm away.

Also, we moved apartments this weekend. That seems to have added to Kabeer's disorientation a bit. But the new apartment has a ceiling fan which manages to delight him every time it makes a rotation.

Anyhoo. Back to opening the cartons now. Someone please tell me - why cant I stop bursting the damn bubble-wrap plastic????

Dev D.

I loved this movie. I had seen SRK's Devdas and hated it (special mention needs to be made here of SRK's long-drawn death scene & its hideous melodrama); and when I saw the promos for Dev D, I expected it to be an edgier, less glamourised, more real version of the same story, but the tragic tale of Devdas without melodrama was hard to imagine.

I also thought that the story of Devdas was basically bland - lost love makes this weak man drink himself to death - devoid of any strong characters. Well, Dev D is a loser too, he is selfish too, and he definitely suffers from a bigger male ego than SRK's Devdas; but he never tries to invoke pity from me (the viewer) & I wanted to know how far he would go with his insane broken heart/ ego. A Paro with attitude and gumption also was an interesting twist.

What I liked about this movie was its audacity. I don't mean just the audacity of the language, or the openness about sexuality, or even the audacity of Paro's character; but the audacity that the movie has shown in doing away with the filminess of Devdas' tragedy.

Abhay Deol, I'm a fan.

The Banyan Tree, Bintan

The beauty of South-East Asia in all its glory: the pristine beaches, the blue water, the warm sun, the green valleys; we saw it all in our weekend stay at the Banyan Tree in Bintan, Indonesia. The beauty of the place was beyond words & the luxury of Banyan Tree left us mesmerised. I'll let these pictures tell the rest of the story:
PS: Staying in a villa in the middle of a valley did get a bit spooky at night. Especially when I heard bats outside. I was glad Kabeer made the night really short by waking us up at 6 am :)

The Play

The stage is set,

Characters there are many,

Each a protagonist,

Of his epic story.

There is much self-created chaos,

There is much randomness,

But there is reason & faith,

That the plot will fall in place.

Port Dickson, Malaysia

We went to Port Dickson for three reasons: (1) H was dying to make a road trip in his much loved Porsche (2) I desperately wanted a getaway before I start work again, and (3) this is an ideal age for travelling with Kabeer - he is young enough not to move on his own & old enough to be able to sustain the travelling.

It took a lot of planning - we were carrying about 15 pieces of luggage (including a steriliser, toys, bath stuff, bed stuff, pram, rocking chair & boiled water among many many other things). In the end, it was all worth it because..

(1) Kabeer turned out to be the most non-fussy traveller :) He was cheerful in his car-seat for the 5 hours drive from Singapore to Port Dickson. He surpassed all our expectations & gave us another reason to love him even more :)
(2) I experienced the best massage I've ever had & for the first time, got one while overlooking the sea :) and

(3) H loved the drive. The drizzle made it even more memorable for him

Kabeer this July

Kabeer has come a long way since his poop-milk-sleep days; he's doing newer, cuter things now. Like he says 'mama' sometimes in the middle of a sentence of gibberish!! Of course, he has no idea what it means, its just a sound he can make & I cheer him when he makes it; so he enjoys making it. But its a ego-high for me nevertheless. I pose different questions for him expecting the same answer :)

Q: Kabeer, who do you love the most in the whole wide world?

A: ma-ma

Q: Kabeer, who is the coolest person you know?

A: ma-ma

Q: Mere pass bangla hai, paisa hai, gaadi hai. Tumhare pass kya hai?

A: ma-ma

Happy Anniversary to us!

I remember the day when I first met H. He was my senior in college. He was slightly slimmer then, but also looked a lot geekier. Admittedly, there were no sparks at first sight. But my best friend started going out with a close friend of his & we were forced to spend more time with each other. He didn't have a romantic bone in his body ("if its not your birthday why do I need to get flowers?"); but I gradually got to see him for the generous & kind man he was & adored him for his straight-forwardness (which complimented my complicatedness rather well). A previous failed relationship had led me to believe that all men are chauvinists at heart; but H changed my mind about the male species in general :)

And when the sparks finally emerged, they were giant ones. Of course, like all college romances we had our highs & lows, but finally decided that we wanted to suffer monogamy together.

I think we had the potential of becoming a great love-story if only our families had objected to the union, and forced us to elope, but none of that happened. Our parents were over the moon elated. The engagement followed & then the wedding; both the events are a blur now.

The first year of our life together was in Bombay & it was not an easy year. H had a difficult boss & worked long hours. We bought an apartment in the suburbs (which meant an hour of commuting every day); and our then modest salaries were eroded repaying the housing loan. We barely saw enough of each other that year & the frustrations from work were often carried home. That year my dad had his first brain-stroke & it was painful for me (and still is) to see what it had done to him. H was my pillar of strength, hope & optimism then.

Then we moved to Dubai. It was a fresh start & we had a fantastic run -- both personally & professionally. We finally went on our honeymoon (and Istanbul was an unforgettable destination). We felt appreciated at work, H finally got his dream car (& then another one as his dreams upgraded). We travelled around the world together, we watched movies, walked hand-in-hand by the creek, it was all a very long honeymoon :)

We moved to Singapore 2 years ago. On our last anniversary we were in Malaysia & the following month found out we were having a baby. H endured me throughout my nauseous & testy pregnancy & stood by my side during labour without passing out. Kabeer has taken our togetherness to another level; he's been the most important milestone in our married life; he has made both of us fall in love once again -- with each other & with him.

Today, on our anniversary, I look back at our time together & feel grateful that we found each other all those years ago. "Happy anniversary & I love you."

Kabeer is 3 months old

Kabeer celebrated his 3-month-birthday by going to a baby spa (how pampered are we!!) & loved his first experience of swimming. It was so much fun to watch him swim, we promptly took up membership at the spa. I think this is the next Michael Phelps in the making :)

Starting with the warm-upThen in his pool:And he turned out to be a natural swimmer :)

My favourite MJ memory

It was 1999; karaoke night at "jazz by the bay" in Mumbai. I had very little idea of how ridiculous I sound; it was my first time at karaoke & my first song was "Beat It". An awful rendition, but such a fun memory :)

King of Pop, R.I.P.

I'm scared...

...not of losing my job, but by the thought of having to start afresh.

Another Sleepless Night

Rajib Chowdhry -- I really like this artist & have been following him for a while now -- this is an oil painting titled "Another Sleepless Night". I like how the dishevelled bed can tell a story; it looks soft & comfortable & inviting; but clearly is not a place of peace for a restless mind.
(Incidentally, this also reminds me of my friend D who has always pondered about satin bed-sheets - -They look sexy alright, but how do people manage not to slide off them?)

And here's another painting I like from the same artist. This one is titled "The Morning of 27-11-09". Interesting, uh?

Marley & Me

The movie made me want to get a dog. Until H pointed out that I am petrified of dogs; then the movie made me want to like dogs. Even the difficult ones.

But even as someone who is not so much into dogs, I quite liked this movie, mainly because I saw it at this juncture in my life. There are many movies made about great people & their spectacular lives. This one is about ordinary people & their ordinary lives. There are no dramatic twists & turns in their lives; just simple ordinariness & the pleasures of that ordinariness. I felt connected to Jennifer Aniston's character in the movie -- the career-family dilemna; the feeling of being overwhelmed & gratified at the same time; adjusting to & enjoying the joys of mundane everyday family life. I just saw a lot of myself in her.

Thoughts on a moonless night...

I remember gazing at the sky, and feeling small & insignificant in the enormity of the universe. When I gaze at the sky these days, I don't feel that anymore. I've seen the center of my universe now. There's just one person there and the universe revolves around him.

American Idol

I followed this season of American Idol & loved both the finalists. Personally, I would've voted for Adam, but I do prefer the under-stated over the flamboyant & thought Kris was a more "likeable" guy among the two -- his modesty gave him a certain vulnerability; which was lacking in Adam, who was more of a confident showman

And then today I saw this news piece on YouTube. I don't know if American voters really were biased against Adam; but it would be ridiculous if it were true. Especially so because its America!

The Mummy Returns

So the chaos has subsided & normal life is being restored at our home. We've started going out, meeting other adults and getting bits of sleep every now & then.

Before we had Kabeer, I had resolved that I won't turn into one of those parents who can't stop talking about their own baby. But inspite of my best efforts, I cant help talking about Kabeer's angelic smile. Its the most heart-melting, "awwww"-generating, cuddle-worthy & kiss-inspiring thing I've seen. Here's some proof:

PS: Doesn't his face remind you of chocolate? :)

Experiences of a new mom

If I put my mind to it I could write a book about my 2 1/2-weeks worth of experiences as a new mom; but ever since we got Kabeer home I haven't had the time to indulge in idle thought & therefore the book will have to wait. I could however put this quick post together.

The first week back at home was what I call the "tornado week". Complete chaos & panic. By the end of the week, we had begun to believe that everything we're doing is wrong & that we're the worst parents ever. Particularly on that fateful night when Kabeer howled & cried for 5 hours at a stretch & we were close to tears ourselves (all the books & websites said that the baby's brain development is directly linked to the amount of milk intake & sleep he gets; and I was beginning to get worried that my baby is going to have a brain the size of a pea).

The first week was also the peak of excitement. Even when Kabeer was napping, we would stand by his crib & watch him sleep & admire his sleepy expressions.

By the second week came the realisation that exhaustion catches up with you & that sleeping is important. I also realised that there are two kinds of moms -- the ones who stress too much & the others who don't. I probably am the worst kind of mom in the first category, although I so want to be the bindaas mom of the second category. Having realised that I'm stressing too much, didn't help though; as I still continue to stress over my struggles with breast feeding (by the way, whoever said that breastfeeding is a natural instinct is going to rot in hell) & the erraticness of Kabeer's sleep.

It's week #3. I can't remember when was the last time I had a peaceful nap or a peaceful anything for the matter. Yet, whenever I'm not with Kabeer, I miss him.