Kabeer this July

Kabeer has come a long way since his poop-milk-sleep days; he's doing newer, cuter things now. Like he says 'mama' sometimes in the middle of a sentence of gibberish!! Of course, he has no idea what it means, its just a sound he can make & I cheer him when he makes it; so he enjoys making it. But its a ego-high for me nevertheless. I pose different questions for him expecting the same answer :)

Q: Kabeer, who do you love the most in the whole wide world?

A: ma-ma

Q: Kabeer, who is the coolest person you know?

A: ma-ma

Q: Mere pass bangla hai, paisa hai, gaadi hai. Tumhare pass kya hai?

A: ma-ma

Happy Anniversary to us!

I remember the day when I first met H. He was my senior in college. He was slightly slimmer then, but also looked a lot geekier. Admittedly, there were no sparks at first sight. But my best friend started going out with a close friend of his & we were forced to spend more time with each other. He didn't have a romantic bone in his body ("if its not your birthday why do I need to get flowers?"); but I gradually got to see him for the generous & kind man he was & adored him for his straight-forwardness (which complimented my complicatedness rather well). A previous failed relationship had led me to believe that all men are chauvinists at heart; but H changed my mind about the male species in general :)

And when the sparks finally emerged, they were giant ones. Of course, like all college romances we had our highs & lows, but finally decided that we wanted to suffer monogamy together.

I think we had the potential of becoming a great love-story if only our families had objected to the union, and forced us to elope, but none of that happened. Our parents were over the moon elated. The engagement followed & then the wedding; both the events are a blur now.

The first year of our life together was in Bombay & it was not an easy year. H had a difficult boss & worked long hours. We bought an apartment in the suburbs (which meant an hour of commuting every day); and our then modest salaries were eroded repaying the housing loan. We barely saw enough of each other that year & the frustrations from work were often carried home. That year my dad had his first brain-stroke & it was painful for me (and still is) to see what it had done to him. H was my pillar of strength, hope & optimism then.

Then we moved to Dubai. It was a fresh start & we had a fantastic run -- both personally & professionally. We finally went on our honeymoon (and Istanbul was an unforgettable destination). We felt appreciated at work, H finally got his dream car (& then another one as his dreams upgraded). We travelled around the world together, we watched movies, walked hand-in-hand by the creek, it was all a very long honeymoon :)

We moved to Singapore 2 years ago. On our last anniversary we were in Malaysia & the following month found out we were having a baby. H endured me throughout my nauseous & testy pregnancy & stood by my side during labour without passing out. Kabeer has taken our togetherness to another level; he's been the most important milestone in our married life; he has made both of us fall in love once again -- with each other & with him.

Today, on our anniversary, I look back at our time together & feel grateful that we found each other all those years ago. "Happy anniversary & I love you."

Kabeer is 3 months old

Kabeer celebrated his 3-month-birthday by going to a baby spa (how pampered are we!!) & loved his first experience of swimming. It was so much fun to watch him swim, we promptly took up membership at the spa. I think this is the next Michael Phelps in the making :)

Starting with the warm-upThen in his pool:And he turned out to be a natural swimmer :)

My favourite MJ memory

It was 1999; karaoke night at "jazz by the bay" in Mumbai. I had very little idea of how ridiculous I sound; it was my first time at karaoke & my first song was "Beat It". An awful rendition, but such a fun memory :)

King of Pop, R.I.P.

I'm scared...

...not of losing my job, but by the thought of having to start afresh.

Another Sleepless Night

Rajib Chowdhry -- I really like this artist & have been following him for a while now -- this is an oil painting titled "Another Sleepless Night". I like how the dishevelled bed can tell a story; it looks soft & comfortable & inviting; but clearly is not a place of peace for a restless mind.
(Incidentally, this also reminds me of my friend D who has always pondered about satin bed-sheets - -They look sexy alright, but how do people manage not to slide off them?)

And here's another painting I like from the same artist. This one is titled "The Morning of 27-11-09". Interesting, uh?

Marley & Me

The movie made me want to get a dog. Until H pointed out that I am petrified of dogs; then the movie made me want to like dogs. Even the difficult ones.

But even as someone who is not so much into dogs, I quite liked this movie, mainly because I saw it at this juncture in my life. There are many movies made about great people & their spectacular lives. This one is about ordinary people & their ordinary lives. There are no dramatic twists & turns in their lives; just simple ordinariness & the pleasures of that ordinariness. I felt connected to Jennifer Aniston's character in the movie -- the career-family dilemna; the feeling of being overwhelmed & gratified at the same time; adjusting to & enjoying the joys of mundane everyday family life. I just saw a lot of myself in her.

Thoughts on a moonless night...

I remember gazing at the sky, and feeling small & insignificant in the enormity of the universe. When I gaze at the sky these days, I don't feel that anymore. I've seen the center of my universe now. There's just one person there and the universe revolves around him.

American Idol

I followed this season of American Idol & loved both the finalists. Personally, I would've voted for Adam, but I do prefer the under-stated over the flamboyant & thought Kris was a more "likeable" guy among the two -- his modesty gave him a certain vulnerability; which was lacking in Adam, who was more of a confident showman

And then today I saw this news piece on YouTube. I don't know if American voters really were biased against Adam; but it would be ridiculous if it were true. Especially so because its America!

The Mummy Returns

So the chaos has subsided & normal life is being restored at our home. We've started going out, meeting other adults and getting bits of sleep every now & then.

Before we had Kabeer, I had resolved that I won't turn into one of those parents who can't stop talking about their own baby. But inspite of my best efforts, I cant help talking about Kabeer's angelic smile. Its the most heart-melting, "awwww"-generating, cuddle-worthy & kiss-inspiring thing I've seen. Here's some proof:

PS: Doesn't his face remind you of chocolate? :)

Experiences of a new mom

If I put my mind to it I could write a book about my 2 1/2-weeks worth of experiences as a new mom; but ever since we got Kabeer home I haven't had the time to indulge in idle thought & therefore the book will have to wait. I could however put this quick post together.

The first week back at home was what I call the "tornado week". Complete chaos & panic. By the end of the week, we had begun to believe that everything we're doing is wrong & that we're the worst parents ever. Particularly on that fateful night when Kabeer howled & cried for 5 hours at a stretch & we were close to tears ourselves (all the books & websites said that the baby's brain development is directly linked to the amount of milk intake & sleep he gets; and I was beginning to get worried that my baby is going to have a brain the size of a pea).

The first week was also the peak of excitement. Even when Kabeer was napping, we would stand by his crib & watch him sleep & admire his sleepy expressions.

By the second week came the realisation that exhaustion catches up with you & that sleeping is important. I also realised that there are two kinds of moms -- the ones who stress too much & the others who don't. I probably am the worst kind of mom in the first category, although I so want to be the bindaas mom of the second category. Having realised that I'm stressing too much, didn't help though; as I still continue to stress over my struggles with breast feeding (by the way, whoever said that breastfeeding is a natural instinct is going to rot in hell) & the erraticness of Kabeer's sleep.

It's week #3. I can't remember when was the last time I had a peaceful nap or a peaceful anything for the matter. Yet, whenever I'm not with Kabeer, I miss him.

Kabeer

Although I thought "Lollipop" would be the most apt name for our baby, we decided to stick to something more conventional & respectable in the long run; that's how we landed on "Kabeer".

In Islam, "Kabeer" is one of the names of Allah. "Kabeer" was also a 15th century mystic poet & spiritualist in India, who famously avoided all formal religions & disassociated himself with fundamentalism in spirituality. He drew from Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism & Sufism, but advocated that God can be found by anyone who seeks Him.

O Servant, where dost thou seek Me?
Lo! I am beside thee.
I am neither in temple nor in mosque:
I am neither in Kaaba nor in Kailash:
Neither am I in rites and ceremonies, nor in Yoga.
If thou art a true seeker, thou shalt at once see Me:
thou shalt meet Me in a moment of time.
Kabîr says, "O Sadhu! God is the breath of all breath.
—SONGS OF KABÎR, translated by Rabindranath Tagore
(Source: wikipedia)

He's here!

April 2, 2009. 8.20 am. When the moment came, it was surreal; it was like a scene out of a movie. It was a feeling, an experience like none before; I could barely believe it was happening to me.

She held him
For the very first time,
His head in her arms
His palms locked into fists,
"What do I do now
With a thing so precious?"

Then, as if by instinct
She lifted him to her lips,
And a kiss
So soft but deep in touch,
Magically replaced that cord
Severed only a while ago.

"In the Womb"

Our wonderful friends D&A gifted this DVD to us & insisted that it was a "must-watch". I loved it. National Geographic tells the story of a foetus - from conception to birth - through 3D imagery. It's actually like getting a peek inside the womb & looking at an unborn baby. Not all parts are "cute"; some make your jaw drop in awe; some make you go "yikes!"; some make you smile. Much like the experience of pregnancy itself :)

Six-Word Memoirs

Another one of those Facebook exercises - - There's this book "Not Quite What I Was Planning"; its a compilation of memoirs written by people; each one lasts only 6 words. I haven't read the book yet; but a friend on Facebook prompted me to try writing my own 6-word-autobiography.

Ordinarily, I never have a problem being concise; but describing my whole life in 6 words took a lot of attempts (besides, am I not way too young to be writing an autobiography?)
"An epic drama. Tears & laughter."
"Turned 30. Don't feel it yet."
"My optimism made me like this."
"Wish I could sing or paint."
"Been in love. Been loved. Yippie!"
I finally settled for this:
"Ordinary things happened between extra-ordinary moments."

I know its pretty lame (too generalised?); but somehow it was the only 6-worded sentence that could sum up my life so far. Give it a shot; not as easy as it looks! :)

Colourful Singapore

I've blogged before about my fascination with colourful Singaporean buildings -- the vibrant Clarke Quay and the charming wooden window panes of the Old Hill Police Station. I like such structures because they seem to bring some shred of exuberance to the otherwise clinical look of this city (Not that these colours are all spontaneity, but they are cheerful).

Continuing on the same theme, I also find the "Red Dot" building here, well, very red. And very striking. Reminds me of an over-sized English telephone booth. In a quaint way.

Also like this graffiti-styled exterior of the Performing Arts Center. What do you think of it?

Being 8 months pregnant

The best thing about the 8th month of pregnancy:
The ultra-sound scan.
By this month, our baby weighs a whole 2 kgs! We look nostalgically at the scans from the first few months when he looked nothing more than a speck of grey on a black back-ground; and can't help going, "aww, our little boy is all grown up!". (I even catch myself thinking sometimes that "he's going to get married & have his own kids soon!") Yes, I do realise that he's not even born yet.

The worst thing about the 8th month of pregnancy:
Time crawls.
The feeling that the countdown has begun, but its not moving as fast in reality as it is in my mind.

Slumdog Millionaire

I quite liked the movie.

- I thought the two young kids who played Jamal & Salim, are awesome actors; mature beyond their age, and with beautiful sparkling eyes. The "Jamal-meets-Amitabh" moment is for me one of the most memorable cinema moments of all time... :)

- Liked the whole concept of bollywood-isation of the movie; love triumphs over all & ends with a mass dance-do. Cute :)

- I was born & raised in Bombay; I've seen what a slum looks like - from the outside & from the inside; and like most people from the city have acquired the ability to stay unmoved when I come across slum-life, poverty, or child beggars. But inspite of that, some of the scenes from this movie did move me.

- Liked the little twist of irony in the end...the one piece of "knowledge" that Jamal had the opportunity to pick up from a book (The Three Musketeers); was the one piece he didn't know.

25 Things About Me

A facebook tag from my friend Aquin; so here are 25 things about me:

1) I was born in Mumbai & it still is my favourite city. Growing up, I never realised that it was such a difficult place to live in for people who aren't born there. I see that now, but love the city anyway.

2) I love Bollywood. Not because I don't see its absurdity; but I love it inspite of the absurdity. Maybe even for it. After all, this is a world where Rakhee can be confident that her dead sons will return to kill Durjan Singh; and then they do return; without seeming even remotely far-fetched.

3) I enjoy reading. My favourite classical authors are probably Tagore & Tolstoy. While in Dubai, I found myself reading a lot of Arab authors & really enjoyed most of them. It changed my perceptions about Arab literature. These days, I'm digging some good Chinese authors.

4) I have a long wish-list of art I would love to own. But its always the expensive one's that I like (and therefore can't buy). I aspire to have a MF Hussain in my home someday.

5) The current #1 on my list of must-visit travel destinations is China & Japan. China, because I want to see Beijing; I've heard so much about it! And Japan because I want to eat Jap food. And also because I wonder if Tokyo is anything like what they show in the movies.

6) I believe in God; but I'm not God-fearing. I don't believe in rituals; I find that they lose meaning over a generation or two. I do believe in prayers though. I go to temples or churches occassionally (very rarely actually); but I prefer connecting with God in the solitude of my own home.

7) I love my work. There's nothing else that I would rather do professionally. But that doesn't mean I don't find my weekends awfully short.

8) I find 25 is an incredibly large number; I don't have that much to talk about myself!

9) I try to eat healthy; but rarely succeed.

10) My cooking skills have improved since I moved to Singapore. But H is still the better cook among the both of us.

11) My earliest childhood memories involve me fighting with my brother. He was bigger & stronger than me; but I had a shorter temper. So I inevitably picked up fights that I had no chance of winning.

12) I was a nerd in school. I used to wear big plastic glasses & had braces on my teeth. I was quite like Ugly Betty. Except I never got a job in a fashion magazine. And never had a cute boss.

13) Everyone who knows H & I as a couple, acknowledge that we're poles apart. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But its been 9 years and we're still going strong; so I guess we work.

14) I have a habit of asking hypothetical questions to H to gauge his love for me. Like, "will you re-marry if I die?" or "if you knew the world was coming to an end in the next 2 minutes, what would you do?". He never gives me the answers that I expect (i.e. "of course not; I'll never get over you" and "I will hold your face one last time"). His answers are always unromantic (i.e. "I'll die before you do because women have better life expectancy" or "If the world is coming to an end anyway, I will smoke as many cigerettes as I can without worrying about its health effects"). Inspite of those answers, I feel compelled to ask him more questions.

15) The pregnancy has changed me a great deal. Its one of the rare occassions when I find myself thinking more about another person, rather than myself. Before this, I was pretty much self-absorbed.

16) My dad has been my hero for the longest time. Until he got older & I realised there was a negative side to being a stubborn over-achiever. I still do consider him the most intelligent man I've come across. Sadly, that part of the gene pool went to my brother rather than me. I only got his looks, which lets be honest, aren't very impressive. I would've rather inherited my mother's looks.

17) I find its never a good idea to ask, "so what's new?" when I run out of conversation. In my experience, 99% of the time, the other person will respond with "nothing".

18) I like to dunk biscuits in my tea or coffee.

19) I love my nephew. Cuddling him (whenever he allows me to do that) is the most satisfying thing ever. The fact that he hates it does not bother me.

20) I hate awkward conversations. I can never tell someone, "I think your fly is open"; I would rather pretend I didn't notice.

21) I love the British accent.

22) I can't believe I've said 21 things about myself already!

23) I hate smoking ever since I lost my grand-dad to cancer. Yet, I'm married to a smoker :(

24) I like the idea of spending old age in a small cottage in the mountains surrounded by green valleys & blue brooks. Maybe Nainital. But I know I'll never get there. I'm too used to city comforts.

25) I'm the worst driver I know.

The World This Week

There's a whole lot of events that happened in this past week, that I want to blog about; but didn't get around to it; hence this bhel-puri of a blogpost:

* I wept when I watched Roger Federer weep in the Australian Open. I can't imagine the anguish of being the second-best in the world (at anything) and not being able to be the best. That too after a fight that long & emotionally tiring. Having seen the top before must make it even harder.

* A lot of debates happened this week (mainly in the banking circles), when Obama announced a limit on executive pay on Wall Street & most people cheered it. I don't feel bad for the execs; but I do feel the announcement was very un-American; kind of a u-turn on the American dream.

* My waist measures 42 inches now! How huge is that! People say nice things to me (like "wow, you're glowing") to make me feel better.

* I wonder who finances the Hindu-radicals in India? And how do they recruit their goondas? When did so many of them crop up? That too in places like Mangalore?

* The Freakonomics blog had a "Bernie Madoff Limerick Contest"; it was quite fun to read some of the entries; like this one:

We once believed in a man named Madoff,
who big wigs loved so much as to payoff,
but a Ponzi he ran,
30 years ’twas a scam,
and now I’ll blame him for my lay off :)

* My dad turned 65 this week. The thought of him being that old depresses me.

Gong Xi Fa Cai !

The Chinese New Year weekend just got over. This was our first CNY in Singapore (last year we had gone to Vietnam during the holiday); and I quite enjoyed being in Singapore this year. Our families were visiting, so we went to Chinatown on the second day on the new year & it was like Christmas -- all the lights, the festivties, the dances, the lanterns; the yellow flowers & the orange trees with red hangbao envelopes -- it was quite spectacular. A lot of the places were closed (even the Carrefours & 7-11s were shut during the holidays; when we unfortunately ran out of milk for our morning tea).
The new year, by the way, is the Year of the Ox. Babies born in this year are supposed to have the qualities of "tireless hard work & patience". I'm quite relieved I won't have a lazy son, but an ox doesn't sound as exciting or great as a lion or a dragon. But then again, I take consolation from the fact that at least he won't be a rat or a pig.

I met Kapil Dev today!!

I would usually be excited to meet any cricket celebrity, but I was especially excited today because this was the first time I actually had a long conversation with one of them. And that too with the legendary Kapil Dev...! :)

Kapil was in here doing a roadshow for ICL, thats how he landed up in our office today. Honestly, I wasn't such a big fan of his until now. But he's just such a terrific guy; unassuming, no hang-ups; and such a chatterbox! We spoke about his first appearance on television --for the Palmolive ad; and about his old pals Ravi & Sunny; about Sachin; about the future of one-day cricket; about cricket leagues; and of course, he spoke about Mandira Bedi (because he was talking to me, a woman, and thought that I would have an opinion on women commentators & their sari fashions).

Mementos from the meeting: an autographed mini-bat & a cricket ball bowled by Kapil himself! I'm so pleased :)

Preparing, waiting

We've picked up quite a few things to go in the baby's room. Inspite of warnings from the families (that it would be bad luck to buy too many things before the baby actually arrives), we've done a fair bit of shopping in the spirit of "being prepared"; most of it will get delivered closer to the due date. We'll probably leave decorating the nursery for the last month. Doesn't mean I haven't started planning though.

Colourful musings; soft tender tones;
Some blue, some green, some red,
There is the pram; there'll be the baby's bed,
There we sit as we watch him play;
We could change this, get that new,
Trying our best to keep,
A promise of love; that we've made to you :)

PS: I do realise that my blog posts have been getting overly maternal these days :)

"Waiting" by Ha Jin

I read a good book after a very long time. This is a story set in mainland China during Mao's Cultural Revolution; about a sincere, studious doctor, who is trapped in a loveless marriage & waits for 18 long years for his divorce to be granted, so that he could finally be with the woman he loves. It sounds like a simple plot, but is quite nicely written; sort of a political parellel to the entire generation of Chinese youth of the time who were raised to be too patient to speak up for what was right; too rules-bound to know how to live without them; too passive to create change for themselves; while an opportunistic few prospered at their expense.

A friend of mine (she was my Mandarin tutor actually, but since I've discontinued my lessons she's just a friend now); lived in Beijing through the Cultural Revolution in the 70s; & told me a lot of stories & personal accounts from those times. At the time, I thought it incredible; I still do; the stories of how all religious buildings were destroyed, how capitalist books were confiscated, how school children grew up parroting Mao's poetry & writings, how ancient Chinese festivals & customs & knowledge were lost forever in mainland China after they were banned during the Cultural Revolution. That was my first introduction to the bizzare events that happened in China.

Then I came across this book, which makes a beautifully told argument for individualism (as against the collective society) layered beneath a painful love story. And how it takes a certain kind of people to make a society, like the communist China in the 60s & 70s, work.

Recession

We kept reading about it in the newspapers; but it didn't strike as a reality until it happened to people around us-- people we know by name, by their faces, by their families -- people who lost their careers overnight. It was depressing to begin with, even scary; then somewhat relieving ("Thank God, we still have our jobs"), a matter of fact ("These are tough times after all, aren't they?"); and in the end it has turned into anxiety & stress ("What would I do if that happened to me?").

I feel gloomy at the ruthlessness of businessdom; and the trying times that lie ahead for many of these families; but I hope & pray & wish everyone a better, more stable & certainly a more cheerful 2009!

Mumbai Terror Attacks - few weeks later

I am a big fan of Arundhati Roy; although I don't quite agree with all her views (her anti-globalisation stance, for example). But I thought this article by her on the Mumbai terror attacks hit very close to home & was very thought provoking. I agree with the essence of what she observes, that India is completely in denial that the problem could be within (irrespective of whether or not the ISI was involved).

PS: I don't agree though that the Taj is an icon of the inequalities & injustice in India. I think its an icon of the 'good life'; the opportunities & dreams that make Mumbai the city it is.

Being 6 months pregnant

The best thing about the 6th month of pregnancy:
The kicking :)
To feel the little person inside me; alive & kicking (quite literally); with feet & fists that are incredibly strong for his size*; this first connection between me & my baby is quite a special feeling.

The worst thing about the 6th month of pregnancy:
The appetite.
I've been nicknamed "Porky the Pig". I have an appetite these days for everything edible. Any time of the day. Any number of times.

* The doctor says he weighs around 500 grams right now. Isn't that adorable? :)

End of a great holiday

We had a super holiday in Dubai. My 30th birthday & the surprise baby shower our friends threw for us (uff, that last sentence makes me feel so old!) made the visit more special.

Dubai is somewhat different from what it was 2 years ago (loved the very europe-like JBR walk, especially at this time of the year; hated the new spider-web of flyovers...very confusing); but the things I liked about the city are still the same; and that's what made the holiday great.

Mumbai Terror Attacks

I couldn't believe that it was happening; that it was real. In my country, in my city, on the same street where I used to work not so long ago, in the terrace restaurant I loved, on the railway platform I've waited at, in front of the cinema halls I've eaten popcorn at. It could've been me; I'm glad it wasn't me; but I'm sad & pained that it had to be some 155 (or more) others; probably just like me.

But sad as I was for the death of inocents, the thought that has bothered me the most is that these terrorists were 17 to 20 year olds.

When I was 20, I had dreams, I had little or no worries, I had a full life to look forward to. There was just so much living yet to come, early 20s is the time to hope & dream. And yet, here are 20-year olds who have so much misguided, misdirected anger within them that they believe in a cause which assures their death; which involves opening fire indiscriminately on men, women & children they don't know; which involves attacking sick people in a hospital; and actually believing that it is all for the greater good of their people & feeling no remorse for it.

No amount of brain-washing in a terrorist camp should be able to convince a 20-year old that this is worthwhile; that this is justified; and that there should be no remorse in killing. And yet, there are these 15 young kids who were convinced. And plenty more of them where they came from. Why? How? These weren't stupid young men; they were smart; they were determined, they were focussed.

I don't know why & how they were convinced, but they were. Figuring out the whys & hows probably is the solution to terrorism. I hope India doesn't launch the American brand of "war on terror"; it may be useful in appeasing the immediate anger in the public & keeping the Narendra Modi's of the world silent for a while; but I don't think killing terrorists will kill terrorism; there would in the end always be more terrorists born than killed. The problems are much, much deeper than that.

PS: I feel so grateful to the NSG commandos & all the other men & women in uniform who fought in the city these past 3 days!

Holiday in December!

We're going to Dubai in December & I'm super super excited about it! How I've missed Dubai this past year & more!

We're looking forward to meeting all the friends we left behind in Dubai; it's going to be great catching up with them all. Like it usually happens with friends who've been away for a while; a lot of things have changed for most of them since we left Dubai, and yet very few things have changed between us.

Also, its going to be like an "end of an era" trip. Dubai was the city where H & I started out as a young care-free couple & now we're on our way to parenthood going back to the same place. Yeah well, maybe I'm getting too dramatic! :) But can I at least call it a 'mini-era'?

Another big item on the agenda is food! Between H & I, we've already planned every single meal we're going to have in Dubai. Including breakfast :)

And finally, there's some baby-related shopping & some partying on the to-do list...although I hear 360 degrees is no more :(

Its a boy!

The doctor told us yesterday that our little baby is a boy! :)

Quantum of Solace

Watched "Quantum of Solace" this week. I have to say, getting into the movie, Bond was my least favourite secret service agent. Jason Bourne is hot; Ethan Hunt is passble; but James Bond, absolutely puts me off. Firstly, there's something very unattractive about a man with vanity. I also imagine Bond would be really fussy & irritating to be with (will have martini only shaken not stirred; won't stay in a budget hotel) -- snobbish & high-maintainence. And then there's that smug confidence of getting women into bed, which is so very unattractive in men.

But having said that, I find Daniel Craig the most likeable Bond so far. Probably because he was the first to fall in love. And also because he wears jeans to work sometimes (as against the previous Bonds who have always been in expensive well-tailored suits that eventually get soiled by blood & dirt).

About the movie -- well, it's a Bond movie -- there are good action scenes, exotic locales & pretty girls.

Weekend in Macau

I had a stressful last week at work thanks to all the market turmoil & was looking forward to a totally stress-free weekend. So H planned a weekend getaway for us in Macau. It was an impulsive holiday -- we literally booked our flights on Friday & were off on Saturday morning.

Macau is all about casinos. And casinos. And then there are casinos. A world so far removed from all the recessionary fears we hear about everywhere these days. The casinos were crowded, money was being bet in millions, & towards late evening it seemed like the whole of China was in Macau (we were probably the only two brown-skinned people there). Yes, we did gamble, but I won't get into the painful details of how we quadrupled our money on day 1 & then watched it all evaporate on day 2 into the hands of a sympathetic but lousy dealer. Then I vowed to settle the score with him & lost some more. If only we had some more time there....!

"The Venetian" was surreal. Really. Re-creating Venice on a Chinese-Portugese island can be neither easy nor inexpensive. It reminded me of the movie "The Truman Show". It was amusing how our gondola-driver (who insisted on singing an Italian love song for us on the canal); looked Asian but spoke with an Italian accent; and told us made-up folk-lore about how true lovers always kiss under the 'bridge of reality'. It was romantic, but in a really really cheesy kind of way! :)

Trip to Bangkok - Part II

While in Bangkok, we watched a Khon show (the traditional Thai classical performing art). The dance form is typically based on stories from the Ramayana (called Ramaniket in Thai). The play we saw was titled "Hanuman" so the story was familiar & we weren't too bothered by the fact that the "narrators" were singing in Thai. I loved the costumes & the masks & the jewellery. The dance in itself was quite difficult to interpret, I thought; with some characters in masks & the others with mask-like faces...a lot of the emoting is done through hand gestures & movements.

Trip to Bangkok

We wanted to spend this Diwali with family so we visited my cousin in Bangkok over the long weekend. Bangkok reminded me of Bombay a lot; its chaotic but lively and fun. Some of the things we did:

- Loved the Chatuchak weekend market & the Suan-Lim Night Bazaar. Shopping in Thai flea markets is so easy on the pockets!

- I was curious to see "Patpong", the infamous red light area, so we went there one evening. It wasn't as shockingly sleazy as I expected it to be. We went into one of the sex shows where the girls were meant to be doing some tricks with ping-pong balls in their private parts; but the bar was too smokey & H decided I shouldn't make the baby breathe all that smoke, so we exited before the show started. Well, maybe some other time. Or maybe not!

- We ate the yummiest food while in Bangkok. Thai food has been my favourite for a long time, but even the Indian food in Bangkok is delicious!

- We saved the last day in Bangkok for some sight-seeing. "The Grand Palace" was magnificent (in a very over-the-top sort of way). The "Temple of the Emerald Buddha" had some of the most beautiful Asian paintings I've ever seen. The "Reclining Buddha" was umm, well, massive!

Halloween Sushi

Sushi inspired by Edward Munch's "Scream"! I think it's hilarious! :))

Being 3 months pregnant

The worst thing about the 3rd month of pregnancy:
My stomach is big enough to make me look noticeably fat; but not large enough for people to realise I'm pregnant. I feel like one of those big-bellied Disney characters.

The best thing about the 3rd month of pregnancy:
There's *hope* that the nausea, fatigue, dizziness shall pass soon! Also, with all the reading of pregnancy books, I discovered that there' s this whole alternate world of baby-related words that I knew nothing of until now. (Ask a non-pregnant person to construct a lucid sentence using words like 'progestron' or 'gestational age'; he/she would be stumped.)

I saw my angel

The moment I saw you,
I knew life had changed forever
You moved right in, swiftly
to the center of my heart.
From here on, love
would mean your happiness.
From here on, peace
would mean knowing you're well.
From here on, bliss
would mean watching you be.
A part of me, yet
an angel from another world.
I want to protect you, always
you're precious, invaluable.
I love loving you,
my miracle, you fill me with awe.

PS: We're having a baby!! And these were our thoughts after our first scan! :)

Try not to judge me...

I've never blogged about my sub-conscious before; but last night I had the most ridiculous dream ever. It was so monumentally over-the-top, I had to post it. So here's how it goes:

The dream started off somewhere in the near future when the banking industry had collapsed & there were only about 100 jobs left in the industry globally. Everyone else was fired. So we moved back to India, rented a small place in Dharavi(!!) & lived through some very difficult times.

Then, one day, a head hunter called: "There's an opening. Mithun is making a movie & wants to cast a new actress opposite him. You had mentioned in your resume that you would do any kind of work except act in a Mithun movie. But these are desperate times. What do you say?" I weighed my options. We hadn't eaten in days & I thought that H deserved a better life. It was a difficult decision, but I said yes.

On my first day of shooting, I met Mithun. He looked at me for a few seconds & said, "You do know that I sleep with all the actresses I work with?". What the --??? Did he just come on to me? I was shaking with rage: "How dare you, Mithun-da? Have you noticed how old you are? What do you take me for? I need the money; but I need my dignity more!". I tore the cheque to pieces & stormed out of the studio.

Now, there was another man on the sets watching this whole scene. It was Sanjay Leela Bhansali (I'm not making this up!!!) And he was thinking to himself, "Thats the kind of woman I want to make my next movie about". So SLB walked up to me and offered me 50 million to make a movie based on my life. I was over-the-moon elated. He wanted to cast Ash to play my character, but I told him about how she had ruined all his previous movies for me & that I would prefer Sushmita Sen to play my character. He saw my point :)

With our 50 million, H & I started a small micro-finance company in Mumbai to help the rural poor. It was a satisfying life.

No, its not over yet....Finally, Barrack Obhama in the presidential debate, cited me as an example of exemplary resilience needed in these tough economic times!!!

How bankers get paid

Watched this on BBC - HSBC Chairman Stephen Green talking on how bankers' compensation structure is one of the reasons of the recent meltdown & something that needs to change: "I think it is important and will become much more the focus of attention to ensure that remuneration schemes operate in a way that is lined up with the long term interests of the owners of the business. There has been far too much focus on payments that are very short term focused, people who pick up the tab for short term profits, without having to bear the costs of long term impairments."

While I agree whole heartedly with Green -- (in all banks, performance-bonuses are based on how much revenue you generate in the previous year/ quarter/ month) -- I also realise that this "reform" is attractive only in theory. For the simple reason that banking, like any other business, is a matter of demand & supply. When the going is good, the shareholders & owners of the business want to see quick growth; they don't want to see their money sit idle in a risk-averse but slow-growing bank; they want to see quarter-over-quarter returns. And there will be demand for professionals who can deliver exactly that.

Flight attendants

I've heard so many Air India travellers complain about how the flight attendants in Air India are not young enough, or pretty enough, or slim enough. I wonder how this expectation came about that flight attendants are required to be young & pretty. I've rarely known of anyone who would judge the quality of a restaurant, for example, by how pretty the waitress is. Why then are airlines judged by the beauty of their air crew?

PS: The service quality in Air India is another topic all together; completely unrelated to the physical appeal of its air hostesses.

India Shining -Gandhi and the Laptop

I saw this sculpture made by a Kolkata artist named Debanjan Roy; I found it amusing (not sure if that was the intended effect the artist meant to have). I don't know why Gandhiji is all red-- (thats more of Chairman Mao's colour, yes?); but the laptop that's replaced the charkha & the title "India Shining" makes the piece very tongue-in-cheek.

ERP Woes in Singapore

A friend sent this YouTube video to me the other day; a parady on the recently-hiked ERP (Electronic Road Pricing) in Singapore. This video is likely to be funny only if you know how Singaporeans who drive to work everyday plan their travel schedules for the WHOLE day around when & where the peak-hour surcharges & congested-roads surcharges could hit them...it's almost a national obsession :))

I've been MIA!!!

The past month has been a roller-coaster ride (which thankfully ended on a high); so I've logged into my blog after really long today & realised I need to start blogging again; it's my daily dose of therapy which I've been missing lately :)

I used the time to do other constructive things though -- watched a lot of the Beijing Olympics; learnt how to make delicious biryani; did some quiet reading on weekends (H has been travelling a lot); sorted out some nagging loose ends at work.

Missed out on two weddings though which I would've loved to attend -- one in France, the other in Delhi; and skipped almost all my mandarin lessons last month; haven't watched a new movie in ages; haven't had a minute of exercise for as long as I can remember.

It's time to get back on the schedule now... :)

When everything changes

Just when you think that everything has fallen into a routine of unvarying regularity, life goes whack again. I'm not complaining though; stability is quite over-rated.

"The Myth of the Rational Voter" by Bryan Caplan

This is a book written by an economist who argues that democracy = bad economic policies.

I guess it confirms what we all knew all along: democracies elect their respresentatives irrationally. Voters most often (and inspite of having adequate information to make a rational choice), make choices emotionally rather than rationally. Especially when it comes to economic policies we tend to choose policies that are not in our best interests. The author cites many examples like say the voters' bias for employment as against productivity.

It struck me that India probably has more examples to prove this hypothesis than any other democracy in the world; even with an economist as the prime minister. Loan waivers for farmers, oil subsidies, inflation, the whole "Maharashtra for Maharashtrians" debate, nuclear energy deal -- all issues that the voters saw emotionally, rather than rationally.

An interesting read. A short article by the author here.

The Dark Knight

First, let me say, this is a GREAT movie. Everybody I know has already said this, but I'm going to say it again: Heath Ledger is absolutely brilliant!

But I did feel a bit upset at the director. It was almost as if Christopher Nolan was so taken in by Heath Ledger's Joker, that he gave the entire center-stage to him; Batman looked like an after-thought. This is a comic-book story about good against evil; but there was very little room for Batman to emerge as a hero. Joker came across as a bigger icon of evil than Batman did as an icon of good. That made me feel a bit cheated.

But what did work for me, was that for a comic-book story, "The Dark Knight" is an incredible 'thinking' movie. Spidey made a miserable effort in his last movie to do a thinking movie & failed. This movie, on the other hand, explores the whole 'US war on terror' situation -- the hero who must fight dirty; a villain who's psyche you can never hope to understand; the conviction that things will get darker until dawn breaks again; the 'social experiment' I thought mirrored the US dilemna on nuclear capaibilities in the Middle East. Very nicely done.

Finally, Heath Ledger. There's a close-up shot of his face in the interrogation room (his make-up is running & he has a creepy scarred smile)-- absolutely gave me the shivers!

Most Disappointing Sequels

I made a list of "Most Disappointing Sequels of Recent Times". (Well, mostly because I had nothing better to do, but also because bad sequels really do disappoint me!). Here's my list anyway:
# 5) Indiana Jones - Crystal Skull
# 4) Sarkar Raj & Dhoom 2 (it's a tie)
# 3) Shrek III
# 2) "Lost" Season 2 & 3
# 1) Matrix Reloaded & Revolutions

PS: If I were to make a list of the most disappointing remakes, Umrao Jaan, RGV's Sholay, and Devdas would be my top 3.

Memory

Memory is a deceiving thing;
But hard to dismiss.
Moments we ought to forget;
Persist & subsist.
Moments we ought to cherish;
Disappear & desist.
Imagine a different world;
Where memory doesn't betray like this;
A world with memories only of bliss.

Did you know...

...that breathing air in Mumbai is equivalent to smoking 20 cigarettes a day?

I'm not shocked with this piece of statistics; I did breathe that almost-air for 20 odd years; but when put like that, it makes me worry a great deal for the health of my family back home. Especially my little nephew who would've smoked over hundred-thousand cigarettes before he actually starts smoking!

A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers

I liked this book.

It started off as a stereotypical story -- Chinese girl arrives in London & feels disoriented in the west. The narrative style I thought was cliched-- broken English; spoken like a Chinese. And the naivity of the girl was over-done; she came across as a moron.

But somewhere around pg # 100, the English got better, the writing was more heartfelt; her wistfulness more acute. I felt for Z & her claustrophobia in London; I was tickled by the "lost in translation" moments; I was touched by the love story of the two diametrically opposite lead characters; and the small everyday observations about the contrasts in the Chinese & Western cultures made it an interesting read.

Pink, plastic, "Hello Kitty"

Is it a massive over-generalisation to say that South-East Asians love all that is "Hello Kitty" much more than any other group of human population ever loved any single brand?

21

When we watched the movie a couple of weeks back, I was the only one who came out of the movie still wondering about the game show problem that Kevin Spacey asks in the MIT classroom in the movie (Yes, I did feel stupid being the only one who didn't get it).

Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?

I thought that the answer in the movie ("yes") was counter-intuitive & it kept bothering me for days (I do get obsessive about the silliest of things sometimes) so I wiki-ed it up. For all those movie-watchers like me who're mathematically-challenged, please look here. Wikipedia has explained it quite well...besides, I thought the pictures of goats & cars were cute (its bizzare that the car is smaller than the goats) :)

Cameron Highlands, Malaysia

So we visited this quaint & charming hill station in Malaysia & it was a lovely & memorable holiday.

We stayed at a Tudor-styled cottage-hotel called "The Old Smokehouse" and it was a slice out of colonial English holiday-life. Cuppa tea in the garden, wine by the fire-place in the evenings, even our breakfast was served in courses! :)

The landscape of Cameron Highlands is BEAUTIFUL. The tea-plantations cover a lot of land and there are points in the hill roads where you can only view acres & acres of tea plantations in any direction you see, as far away as you see. It's like a massive green carpet in the distance & a lovely never-ending garden up close.

And the weather was perfect. It was nippy, but not oppressively cold. In the mornings, the mist would sneek through the doors & windows until everything became bleary, romantic & bollywood-film-like (If I resisted the temptation to dance around trees or roll down the hill slopes, it was only because H is too shy to do such things).
Sigh. Back in Singapore now...it's hot, humid & I see Monday-morning zombies as far as I can see.

Happy Anniversary :)

We glanced back from our speed boat,
At the track of ripples we left in the river;
Followed by the dew drops on leaves adrift-
like tiny gems on water; floating together;
And between the ripples & the gems;
A bleary reflection of two happy faces--
Both of us & this sojourn in paradise.